Have you ever said this:

I keep attracting the same relationships into my life!

Maybe you keep attracting the same romantic partner, just in a different body.

Perhaps you find yourself obsessing in every relationship: Will he (or she) call? 

Maybe you keep getting into the same toxic work relationships.

Or maybe you constantly attract clingy people who make you feel stifled. 

Whatever it is for you, you are noticing a pattern. The question is, are you doing anything to change the pattern?

After all, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. Even being familiar with this famous quote isn’t sometimes enough to wake us up consciously that something isn’t working, and there is always a root, or cause to the why.

As human beings we like to stay in our comfort zone, it’s safe there, even if it really isn’t the best thing for us. We like what is familiar, and this one of the biggest reasons why you can keep getting stuck attracting the same partner over and over.

The truth is, we attract what we think we deserve. And what we believe we deserve can usually be traced back to something we witnessed or experienced from early childhood. Some negative core belief about ourselves, or trauma that has left us feeling like we are unworthy, not enough, or unimportant.

Think of this as you have to heal the old wounds, and extract the beliefs that no longer serve you so that you can be healthy and whole all on your own. This is what makes it so you can find an energetic match that you are longing for. Healing yourself first, will help you attract the right relationship for you.

So, how do you do this?

1. Begin by becoming consciously aware of your patterns. This may require an outside perspective that is skilled in this area to help you become more aware of what is happening in these situations. Patterns start during the formative years – when we first start to become aware of the bonds we have with others. In most all cases, they follow a blueprint that started in early childhood and have carried on (sometimes subconsciously) to this very moment in time. EXAMPLE: If your father was emotionally unavailable ( you experienced abandonment, weren’t supported, you didn’t feel cared for) then it is entirely possible this is the way you have been hardwired to attract emotionally unavailable men.

2. Stop thinking that you have to be the fixer or that you need to save everybody. I got news for you, you do not need to be the superhero. When you attract the same type of people into your life, you do so because they’re familiar. For whatever reason, there’s just something about the person you can relate to – even if it is toxic. And because of unmet needs from your childhood, you can unknowingly get caught up in a cycle of believing that if you just love them enough, you can change them. Guess what? I don’t care how much magic you think you have up your sleeve, you can’t change anybody. You can only fix yourself.

3. Own your behaviors, take accountability, be the change you wish to make. As humans we always like to point the blame at everyone else, but really what we need to be doing is going within. We attract certain people because of OUR behaviors or acceptance of receiving less than what we deserve. If you want change, change how you view yourself, and I promise everything changes externally.

4. ACTUALLY, believe you deserve someone amazing, and you will attract someone amazing. Healthy partners are attracted to people who are confident and have good boundaries. Unhealthy partners are drawn like magnets to partners that have low self-esteem and allow themselves to be used. Again, we attract what we think. If you believe that you deserve a man who is capable of loving you for who you are instead of what you pretend to be, you’ll attract someone amazing.

I cannot emphasize enough that everyone is capable of doing the work, and attracting a healthy, conscious partner. Loving yourself, actually TRULY loving yourself and knowing that you are enough all on your own will help you believe that you deserve more. You will not accept the actions or behaviors of unhealthy people, instead you will see the red flags and walk away before getting trapped in another cycle. So choose you, before you choose anyone else. This will change your life!

As always thank you for being here with me,