Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Partners? Here’s why.

Last post touched on this subject, but I want to dig deeper here. I know that so many people are exasperated by this, and I have helped so many heal from the reasons why this cycle continues. Whether this is tough for you to hear or not, you are choosing these partners because this is what is familiar to you. We attract what we think we deserve. And what we think we deserve is usually rooted in what we experienced or witnessed in our early childhood development. It stems from the relationship you had with one of your parents that wounded you, or how your parents modeled their own relationship for you.

You cannot recognize your own patterns without some new awareness, and some help by a trusted therapist. I know I didn’t. Before any true change can happen you have to gain awareness around your own intimacy blocks, and the patterns that keep you stuck in repeating these same type of relationships.

If your father (or mother) was emotionally unavailable to you, meaning they didn’t make you feel loved, cared for, supported or important - you will be hardwired to seek an emotionally unavailable partner.

We subconsciously remain stuck at the age we received the least amount of love. Read that twice. That means that we subconsciously seek or hope to get what we didn’t receive as a child. So we are searching for that in our relationships as an adult, and it is why we continue to choose partners that are familiar if we do not heal this deep wound. We are more comfortable with the pain of what we know (emotionally unavailable partners), than what we don’t know. So we continue to go back to the same type of partner or relationship model trying to re-enact out our past to fix it, but find we fail every time.

To change this pattern we have to heal the inner child within, so we stop trying to gain the love we didn’t receive as a child from a partner. You have to be willing to push through the discomfort of change and the fear of the unknown. Becoming a more conscious creator of our lives requires massive transformation, and healing the mind of the subconscious imprints that are familiar.

Are you ready to begin attracting the type of partner that makes you feel safe, loved, and supported?

Take the leap, being the journey, I promise you won’t regret it.

As always, thank you for being here with me,