Breaking the Cycle – How to STOP Attracting Toxic Relationships
Now that you understand why you’ve been attracting these relationships, it’s time to break the cycle for good. The first step is awareness, followed by intentional learning. Most of us were never taught how to recognize unhealthy relationship patterns—it’s something we have to seek out and educate ourselves on. Unfortunately, many don’t realize the importance of this knowledge until they’ve already been hurt. But consider this experience a powerful lesson—one that, if you truly learn from, can prevent you from repeating the same painful patterns in the future.
One of the biggest reasons people stay in toxic relationships is because they don’t recognize the warning signs soon enough—or they override them due to past conditioning. The early red flags are for those that are currently dating or in early stages of relationship. If you are currently in a relationship and you’re just awakening to the fact that you may be in a unhealthy or abusive relationship you can also reflect on these and identify these red flags that may have happened earlier in your relationship, and try to identify the current pattern.
1. Love-Bombing: Excessive flattery and grand gestures early on to gain control
They tell you "I've never felt this way about anyone before" on the second date.
They shower you with gifts, extravagant plans, and intense affection before truly knowing you.
They pressure you into commitment quickly (“I just know you’re my soulmate, let’s move in together!”).
They text and call nonstop, making you feel like you’re the center of their world—until they suddenly pull away.
If you express the need to slow down, they guilt-trip you (“Why are you afraid of love? I thought you were different.”).
2. Inconsistency: Hot and cold behavior that keeps you emotionally hooked
One day, they’re affectionate and attentive; the next, they act distant and uninterested.
They say they want a relationship but avoid defining it, keeping you in limbo.
They cancel plans last minute but expect you to be available whenever they call.
They text you all day for a week, then disappear for days with no explanation.
They act disinterested until they sense you pulling away—then suddenly love-bomb you again to pull you back in.
3. Lack of Accountability: They never take responsibility and always shift the blame
When they hurt your feelings, instead of apologizing, they say “You’re too sensitive.”
If they cheat, lie, or break your trust, they blame you for their actions (“If you were more affectionate, I wouldn’t have looked elsewhere.”).
When confronted about their behavior, they twist the situation to make you feel guilty (“I only got angry because you made me.”).
They refuse to acknowledge past mistakes and act like nothing ever happened.
They constantly play the victim, claiming everyone has wronged them, never acknowledging their role in conflicts.
4. Disrespect for Boundaries: Dismissing your “no,” pushing past your comfort zone, or guilt-tripping you
You say you’re not ready for intimacy, but they keep pressuring you, saying “If you really loved me, you would.”
You tell them you need alone time, and they show up at your house uninvited.
You express discomfort with certain jokes or comments, and they dismiss it with “Lighten up, it’s just a joke.”
You ask for space during an argument, but they keep texting and calling non-stop until you respond.
They make decisions for you without asking (ordering for you at a restaurant, making plans without your input).
5. Controlling Behaviors: Subtle or overt attempts to control your time, relationships, or decisions
They get jealous when you spend time with friends or family, making you feel guilty for having a life outside of them.
They monitor your social media, questioning why you liked someone’s post or who you’re following.
They try to control your appearance, making comments like “You’d look better if you lost a little weight” or “I don’t like when you wear that.”
They insist on knowing your location at all times, framing it as “I just worry about you.”
They isolate you by slowly making you cut ties with friends or convincing you that your family is toxic.
Recognizing these behaviors is the first step to breaking free from toxic cycles. Do any of these examples resonate with you? Let me know if you want to expand on a specific one! I am passionate about teaching women about these things, because I wish I would have someone like me when I was in these relationships. I am here to save you from years of emotional and mental suffering and heartache, YOU deserve so much more!!
As always, thank you for being here with me,
