The Beauty of a Conscious Relationship — How can you achieve this for your own relationship?
I know for myself I had never heard of a “conscious relationship” and didn’t understand the concept of it and really how powerful it could be until I was lucky enough to find myself in one. Although, it took me a couple years and a patient, conscious partner to help me arrive into this space.
The definition of such a relationship, “ a romantic relationship in which both partners feel committed to a sense of purpose, and that is purpose is growth and individual growth”.
When two people come together with the intention of growth, the relationship strives towards something much greater than gratification. The partnership becomes a journey of evolution, and the two individuals have an opportunity to expand more than they could have alone. Deep satisfaction and long-term fulfillment become something far greater than if you’re just in a relationship to fulfill your own needs. In working with my clients, I choose to teach them the tools in order to understand how each and everyone of us can have a conscious relationship. It truly is achievable, and you will have so much healthier and happier relationships!
A conscious relationship is focused on the growth of both people. Have you ever been in a relationship where there is no give and take, just taking? In conscious relationships there is a beautiful balance between the two, and there is a harmony of giving and taking. This balance allows for your and your partner to help each other grow as individuals and not just one getting what they need from the relationship, rather both are equally gaining from the relationship. When both parters are growing, each individual benefits from the increased self-awareness and understanding each other better becomes the result. Each obstacle that comes up within the relationship can be used as a way of growth. It may be for just one of the partners, but the other can gain from how they overcome it and can help be the support that the partner needs in that moment. At times, they may have to overcome things together, and every time a conscious couple has the opportunity to learn and grow from the experience.
This type of relationship is based on trust, transparency, and love.
There is no space for fear, or control in a conscious relationship.
Here are a few starter tips in helping strive towards this goal:
Working on ourselves, doing the inner work to have healthier reactions and communication.
Listening with empathy and understanding each other's perspectives
Conscious communication – no blaming, or trying to control but rather listen and learn to grow as a couple
The concept may sound daunting or even too involved (or both), however it does not take long before you start seeing results when practicing these skills consistently every day .Beginning this type-of partnership would involve looking at how we communicate with our loved ones on an everyday basis, what words do they use that may trigger us? Whether those words trigger us emotionally or physically, and then adjusting accordingly so we don't unintentionally hurt them more than necessary with how we may react to that trigger. Having a true conscious relationship, really involves as an individual that you remain aware of your own inner work and things that you need to work through in order to maintain the healthy relationship. If you forget about yourself, then you will only be pointing the finger at your partner, but forgetting to understand your part in a disagreement. Take a step back in every situation and look at how you can react with a different perspective, and perhaps each time you can learn from how you respond. If you responded in anger or jumped to conclusions, then you already know you need to work on how your next response will play out. It can sound like a really small step, but if each time you choose to react differently you are going to get really large results. It will continue to help your own growth, and the growth of your relationship.
Conscious couples know that we all have deep wounds from the past, and they understand that these wounds will inevitably be triggered, especially in a relationship. Having a conscious partner can help you work through those wounds and triggers, most importantly help you to see when you’re reacting that you are reacting as your past self, not to the current situation. It may be one of the most difficult things for you to do, but looking at triggers and understanding our past trauma can help us understand ourselves on a deeper level. We can then see the reaction for what it is, a reaction to a past hurt or wound. Most likely, it is NOT a reaction to the current partner, but from a past partner or wound from childhood. Most of these triggers are the expectation to feeling abandoned, trapped, rejected, not seen or heard, and many other feelings that arise when we bond closely with another person.
Again, a healthy couple is willing to look at their past and current issues in relationships because they know that facing these belief systems that have been created over their life will help them evolve into a new relationship reality that rids them of dysfunctional patterns. Owning our faults and healing the past is a HUGE step in creating that healthy conscious relationship, and in creating the fulfilling, loving relationship you deserve.
“Life is a journey, and love is what makes that journey worthwhile. It’s about showing up for each other and all the rocky parts of the relationship and asking yourself, “What would love do here?” The answer will be different every time, and because of this, you’ll get to grow in ways you never have before. Through love and devotion, love shows up in your relationship in ways you would’ve never imagined. ”
As always, thank your for spending time here with me.
